Well it had to happen eventually. The law of averages dictates that if you play for long enough you will win a match. Unless you’re West Brom of course. The frantic transfer activity and a warm up injury resulted in a new look Blues team for the Southampton game. On paper it looked well balanced and organised. On the pitch for the first forty five minutes it looked a damn decent Premiership outfit. In the second half we would have struggled against a Burkina Faso under twelves girls team. 
Wally The Rifle Pandiani looked strong and willing and used the ball very intelligently which gives us great hope for the balance of the season. Apparently his reluctance to play in Birmingham was a misquote, or a crap translation, of his actual words. He doesn’t need to apologise. I think we would all prefer to play in nice warm Spain or Italy rather than in Small Heath given the chance. By all accounts Mrs Rifle was more than happy to come to Britain’s second city mainly because of the shops! So those of you who frequent the haute couture establishments of Woolworths and Asda in Small Heath can expect to see a little Uruguayan woman fascinated by the apathy of the retail assistants.
Jermaine Pennant also looked the business. His undoubted skill was on show all through the match but also he worked hard and battled like a trooper whilst appearing all over the pitch. His cross for The Rifle’s opening gaol (sic) was exquisite and his acquisition would appear a must. Should we start a petition for him? Free the Ashley Cole One. In fact I’ve got a better idea. If that horrid diving cheat Cole hadn’t lent him the Mercedes in the first place then none of this would have happened. Blame Cole. Blame Canada. Blame Scabbage.
We didn’t get chance to see the Tunisian Nasty display his wares but no doubt he will soon be gracing the St Andrews turf. The departure of Scabbage and Cisse has seen us tumble alarmingly down the bad boy league and the competitive element of an African lunatic can halt that slide. To be classed as nasty on the continent you must be really bad.
Robbie Blake made his full home debut after Heskey got injured in the warm up. The loss of Heskey was a shame as he has played exceptional but fortunately the stand in was effective enough. Blake played well against Chelsea and continued his good form on Wednesday night. He has neat quick feet and a good awareness of team mates making runs. His pass to Pennant for the first goal was incisive and throughout the game he held the ball up well and supported other players.
At times Super Mario has been our best attacker and he finally won a penalty the second time of asking. Redknapp didn’t complain which is normally a good indicator. It was refreshing to see Blake grab the ball so confidently and on a night of missed penalties his was struck clean and true. Considering our second half performance it was a bloody good job.
Although Camara got the Saints back into the match with a tremendous finish the nerves were only slightly strained and in truth it should have been more comfortable than it was. Southampton are going to struggle to the end but in Camara they have a player with lightning pace who will cause a lot of defences numerous problems. He must be glad to be out of the Scottish league, I hope he gave a cheery wave to Bellend as they passed each other.
Old Trafford has not been a happy hunting ground for us. In our first season it was possible to back United to win 9-0 at the stadium bookmakers. They probably had a few takers. Their match against Arsenal earlier this week was an absolute barnstormer and one of the most enjoyable for a neutral for many a day. The malevolent undercurrent added to the fun and United can be sure that Birmingham will be glad if the match on Saturday also has a physical side. Like Chelsea, Man Utd have strength in depth and will put out an array of superstars who have been there, won it and got the commemorative t shirt. Anything other than a home win will ruin the many home banker bets but let’s remember those laws of averages. If we play there often enough one day we might just get something. Every season United lose at home to a side like Birmingham and with the new recruits wanting to ply their talents 2005 could just be our turn.
I won’t be going to the match on Saturday for a number of reasons including the immense amount of death threats received after my article in the official match day programme a year ago. They are a sensitive bunch! They made the recent Middlesboro death threats almost look complimentary. The mere insinuation that they don’t all live in Manchester, are glory hunters and eat prawn sandwiches can set them frothing at the mouth. My stuttering defence that it was a footballing stereotype used to bait the opposition failed to quell the rabid Manc beast. I suppose in hindsight I was using the right bait.
Keep Right On and remember, in space no one can hear you scream.