The whisper amongst the faithful was that Preston had lost and Cardiff had drawn at home with lowly Colchester. After last week's minor falter against Southampton and our traditional refusal to take the reins at the top of the pack it seemed we might just be ready for the accolades and laurels about to be draped around our thrust back shoulders.
‘Ladies and gentlemen, the Board of Directors would like to thank you all for your attendance this afternoon and have great pleasure in making the following announcement which will no doubt bring great pleasure to you all'.
So the whispers were true. We had indeed forced our way to the top of the Coca Cola heap. I held back my children so that they too could listen carefully to the wonderful news that was about to emanate from the crackly speakers. Top of the league and we were about to launch into a festival of back slapping, clapping and cheering not seen for some time at St Andrews.
‘We bring you the joyous (and triumphant?) news that Birmingham City (yes yes just come on say the words ‘top', ‘of', ‘the' and ‘league') proudly announce (nearly there!) that Damien Johnson has signed to the club until the year 2020'. Or something like that.
What?
I was already applauding and nodding knowingly at my impressionable brainwashed offspring. And then stopped. But but but, what about us being top? My children looked at me as if I had announced the death of Santa.
I was at the bar in the Beau Brummie pub watching the scores being read out like a funeral speech when I heard a murmur of a cheer from the two people left in the ground as the Preston and Cardiff scores were broadcast.
Now I admire DJ (the player not the PA guy) as much as the next bloke (not much then? – ed) but surely a reasonably full, happy and attentive audience was the moment to push the excited button. I only needed a gentle nudge to shoot across the lake with a twisted face of onanistic pleasure.
Of course I am completely self banned from making any comment about the PA guy due to the instant rallying cry of ‘sour grapes' but I have to say I would have loved to have heard him increase our pleasure to orgasmic levels by uttering the words rarely heard at St Andrews, ‘we are top of the league'.
Upon reaching my car I was amazed to hear a local radio DJ describe the Blues fans who had had the temerity to vocally air their displeasure at the abundance of piss poor football that culminated in the Norwich game, following relegation and the worst entertainment since Sam Fox ‘did' the Brits, as ‘evil'. Certain people on this planet deserve the adjective ‘evil'. Football fans who work hard all week, save their cash and then spend their weekend devoted to the team cannot be deemed evil if they merely utilise the freedom of speech to air their dissent. The internet message boards are not universal and tend to attract a clique crowd to each particular site. The postings of displeasure should actually be widely applauded as they shook the club out of an acceptance of mediocrity.
Those fans who bothered to attend against Plymouth will testify that it was a performance of a team riding the crest of a confidence wave. The Scandinavian pair were magnificent and I'm not talking about Ulrika.
Bendtner was playing like a man possessed, he competed for everything, danced around defenders, won headers, linked up the play and could have had a hatful. His goal was awesome purely for the first touch, any player who can control a ball played in at that angle and pace in such an instant has a huge advantage on defenders and the finish was cool and clinical.
Upson and McSheffrey added additional goals before the break to finish the game as a contest. It was shame Blues could not add to the three goals but as it is the first time we have gone past two at home I guess we should not be too greedy.
I thought Upson and Jaidi were immense in defence but it seemed the consensus was that young Larsson was man of the match. Clemence must have pushed him close with the new lease of life he has had since scoring at Derby.
Sully wants you to get up off your backside and get to St Andrews. He wants to know why you are not bothering to turn up. He has dropped the prices to entice you. The crap last night of the proms is still there as are the sponsored by blah blah blah but there is something that should make you want to get to St Andrews.
McSheffrey, Bendtner, Larsson, Upson, Muamba. At least four of these might not be here next season and you should take the opportunity to see them play in a blue shirt. These boys can play a bit and the first two are worth the entrance fee alone. Don't take my word for it. Go see for yourself.
Keep right on. Fifteen pounds, go on, you know it makes sense. Have it as an early Christmas present to yourself. Wrap it up if you like.